THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
