Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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