I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
