My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Randomize
