apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
