Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Randomize
