Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i used baking grease as lip gloss
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
