Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
