TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
