I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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