I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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