Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
