the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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