did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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