This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
