Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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