Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
