I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Found your dick twin last night
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
