dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Omg I joined a choir last night...
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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