You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
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It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize