he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
