I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
