i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I think I sprained my soul last night
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I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I just forgot I was standing up.
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also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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