I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
