He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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