i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
