Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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