You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
