Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
