The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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