This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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