You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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