I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
