Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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