She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
