No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
the day after is always just damage control
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
