operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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