If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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