dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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