You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
