Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize