did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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