is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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