I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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