OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
