sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
