Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
