we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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