Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
