Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
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