i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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