then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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