Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Randomize
