Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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