Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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