I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Come on in and take your pants off
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