Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
