Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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