what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
