If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
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