i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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