shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Enjoy the penises
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize
