guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
